


The PSL Puzzle

by dorkslayer



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Coffee, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, It's about psl okay, M/M, Pumpkin Spice Latte, im in the fall mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 17:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkslayer/pseuds/dorkslayer
Summary: Taako struggles with coffee while his family looks on.(Alternatively: Taako invents the pumpkin spice latte with absolutely no help from anyone.)





	The PSL Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm Hannah and I just finished Taz and now idk what to do with my life so here I am, writing fan fiction. 
> 
> (Also can someone teach me how titles work?)

It's not highly unusual for Kravitz to find Taako in their kitchen early in the morning. Usually he likes to languish in bed until the sun is far into the sky, but sometimes he can be found cooking in the light of dawn.

Today's scene is a little different than Kravitz is used to. By this point in their relationship he's mostly used to Taakos slightly manic cooking sprees when he gets inspired, but this seems extreme. 

Taako is sprawled on the floor, chairs and table pushed aside to make space for his body. The floor is scattered with coffee grounds, broken pottery, and some strange brown liquid. Kravitz softly cleared his throat. 

"Darling? Are you alright?" 

Taako let out a groan and flailed his arms sluggishly, still facedown in a puddle of what Kravitz now realized was coffee.

"Is something the matter?" Kravitz asked curiously. The last time Taako was this worked up over food was when he was still figuring out how ice cream worked.

Taako heaved a great sigh and finally lifted his head to glare at Kravitz. 

"Do you ever feel like something is missing? And not like in a 'my memories were stolen and I forgot my whole twin' kinda way, but like it was never there to begin with, and it's up to you to discover it kinda way?"

Kravitz pondered that for a moment. "No I don't believe I've ever felt like that before. Why, do you feel like you're missing something?" He asked.

Taako nodded. "I feel like it's right in front of my nose. I'm missing the perfect fall drink, and it's tearing me apart on the inside." He then flailed rather dramatically.

"The perfect fall drink? What are you on about?"

"Like the perfect fall drink!" Taako sat up, and Kravitz could see the full extent of the coffee stains and other various blotches covering his apron. "You know that fall vibe? A drink that perfectly captures it, a drink that just makes up the essence of autumn. It's right there on the tip of my tongue, but it's still so far away."

While Kravitz listened to his husband monologue about fall drinks, he started to wonder what life choices had led him up to this point.

"...it has to be sweet, and definitely hot, and maybe spicy? Gods I swear it's right there...." Taako was mumbling to himself now, dead to the world around him.

Kravitz sighed. Maybe it was for the best that he left Taako alone for now and let the creative juices run their course. He gave one last glance to his disheveled husband and turned, leaving the wreckage of their kitchen behind him. 

\---

Taako's starting point was coffee. 

He'd debated for a while between coffee and cocoa and even tea, but coffee was the eventual winner. It had that rich, nutty taste he was looking for, but it needed something else. So he started experimenting. Every morning he put something new into his coffee. Different creamers, cinnamon, cocoa powder, nutmeg. He came really close with the nutmeg, but he was still so far off. 

It was Lup who helped him find the closest thing to what he wanted. See, his heathen sister was a tea drinker. How they had ended up so fundamentally different, only the gods would know. Lup liked tea year round, but especially during the winter months, so Taako kept a selection on hand for when she came over. 

Taako was fiddling around with his coffee beans while Lup gossiped about the goings on the astral plane when he smelled it. It was rich, spicy, and everything he had been looking for.

"Lup." He cut her off mid rant about another 'punk ass' reaper. "What the fuck are you drinking?"

She stared at him, puzzled. "This? It's a chai latte. Not quite all tea but it's pretty good."

Without another word, Taako approached Lup and snatched up her drink, ignoring her squak of protest. He carefully poured half the mixture into his nearly lukewarm coffee and gulped down the mixture.  
-  
"Fuck." He grumbled. "Fuck this is so fucking close! What am I missing!"

Lup gave him a weird look. "Uh koko? What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm in pursuit of a fucking culinary masterpiece okay? Forget tacos, this will be my legacy." He announced ostentatiously.

"Culinary masterpiece? I'm listening."

Taako plopped down across from Lup and started the spiel he had already given so many times. "Do you ever feel like the fantasy Starbucks is missing something? Well....."

\---

Angus indirectly gave him the last piece of his puzzle, but you would never hear Taako say that out loud.

Angus liked to stay with him and Krav when he was on break from school, and it was during one of those such breaks that Taako found what he was looking for, albeit very unconventionally.

"Taako? Can we do another magic lesson after breakfast? I'd like to learn some more offensive spells."

"Sure thing Ango." Taako said absentmindedly, stirring another exotic spice into his coffee.

That morning they practiced for about an hour on some more advanced spells before they called it quits. Their spacious backyard was the perfect place to practice magic without too much collateral damage. October was at its peak, and the perfect weather made practicing outside all the more enjoyable. Angus was getting quite good at magic as a whole, and Taako would never admit that he felt a strange sort of pride at that.

"So what are you in the mood for for lunch my dude? I've got all the stuff for bean and ham soup or we can do some of that good old beef stroganoff."

"Bean and ham soup please. I miss eating your food, the stuff in the cafeteria is sub par."

"Alright pumpki-" He broke off suddenly. "Holy shit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THATS IT!" He shouted before sprinting back into the house.

Angus followed him in a moment later, greatly confused as to what pumpkins had to do with bean and ham soup. But Taako couldn't have been less worried about some dumb soup, not when he had finally figured out his missing ingredient. 

\--

When Kravitz arrived home two hours later, the house was filled with the scent of coffee and spices, and one very hungry little boy.

Taako was in the kitchen, of course, muttering to himself and flinging ingredients all over the place. Two completely eviscerated pumpkins sat on the counter. Angus was lazily pushing pumpkin guts around the table as he watched the proceedings with trepidation and no small amount of boredom.

Kravitz took up a position beside Angus. "So how long has be been like this?"

Angus heaved a sigh. "At least an hour, probably more like two. I tried to get myself a sandwich a while ago but he threw a handful of coffee grounds at me and hissed so I don't think he's in the mood to be bothered."

Kravitz took in the scene. "Let me see what I can do about getting you that sandwich and if he's not calmed down by then, we'll call in the cavalry."

Taako continued to ignore them, still muttering and cursing about pumpkins.

\---

An hour and one sandwich (and daring trip into the kitchen) later, Kravitz sat in the living room with the cavalry. Otherwise known as Lup, Barry, Magnus, Merle, and Angus.

Taako was still in the kitchen, though he had quieted down quite a bit compared to before.

"So that's it? He's just trying to make a drink?" Magnus asked incredulously.

"Just a drink? Magnus he's attempting to bottle up the best season of the year and make it drinkable. That's not an easy task." Lup stressed.

"The problem here is that he thinks fall is the best season when it's clearly spring." Merle argued. Barry nodded along with him, gaining disqusted looks in the process.

"...bad taste aside, he's clearly trying and failing to make something he really wants, and you know how that eats him up." Lup said, taking a sip of her tea.

"He said something earlier about finally having found the final piece and then he started destroying some pumpkins so I guess it's pumpkin flavored." Angus said, displaying his skills as the worlds greatest detective. He was still nibbling on his sandwich and looking mighty interested in the concept of a pumpkin flavored drink.

"Hey maybe it's-" Magnus was cut off by the door to the living room slamming open with a bang. Silhouetted in the doorway by the fading afternoon light was Taako.

"Listen up everyone! Ch'boy has done the impossible and crafted the perfect drink! Take a fucking sip babes." He grinned maniacally and Kravitz wondered at the sanity of drinking anything he had made in this state. Lup clearly had no such reservations.

"Alright gimmie gimmie, I wanna try this mystical drink of yours." She made grabby hands at the cup until Taako relinquished it and she took a drink.

"Oh yeah that's good, especially for coffee. I'm going to have to seriously think about sharing this."

Barry rolled his eyes and held out a hand for the cup. 

"Yeah okay fine," Lup conceded, handing the cup over to Barry. "But only because you're cute."

The reactions were as follows.

"Actually pretty good for coffee." Barry

"This is coffee? I couldn't even tell. Ten out of ten from me." Magnus

"Not bad for something that's supposed to taste like fall." Merle

"I'm not supposed to drink coffee because it'll stunt my growth but this stuff is pretty great." Angus

"Wonderful, just like everything you make dear." Kravitz

All in all, Taako'a concoction was a resounding success. Sweet, spicy, and rich, it truly was the perfect fall drink.

"So what are you gonna call it?" Lup asked curiously. "You need something smooth if you plan to pitch it to fantasy Starbucks."

Taakos grin grew ever larger. "Well my dear sister, you've just tasted the first ever pumpkin spice latte."

**Author's Note:**

> Do you want to hear something funny? The only pumpkin spice latte I've ever had was one sip of my moms several years ago so as always I have no idea what I'm talking about.


End file.
